Friday, August 13, 2004
LalalA~ had POM ICA yesterday.. it was alright i guess.. Had bstats today..T_T so careless..school started at 10am.... had my ICA.. ended at 1138..LOL. Den the whole class or at last 1/2 of the class hung outside the staff rm of block B// no idea y.. juz stood there.. den nicole came lorzzz.. den sit and rot.. and stone and luff.. luff at Adder-.-"lol.. but its cool~ den Meow gt lesson so she go first lorz..den followed by..sam when fer her o lvl english oral retake..at braddel wastlake.. shafinah went off with her.. so i sit and accompany nicole.. den she went fer class.. so i wait fer her class to end.. saw libin.. went over and tok to her.. she updated mi bout soccer.. y does everyone seem ta get along with everyone.. cept me.*siGh*AddEr black sheep at home and in schoollllT_T
god.. school isnt like b4.. where u joke around.. wear school uniforms.. get caught fer getting into trouble.. move around in class and slp like no body's busniess.. u dun get so stress up.. in sec sch..tok frm one end of the class to the other.. eat..joke.. pick on the teacher.. make the teacher screm and cry.. copying each other's homewerks.. teasing one another..growing uo and maturing together.. omg.. mayb..wiping away ur tears and saying gd bye is part of growing up..man i miss my frens.. and my class.. thou i found new frens.. u all will nv be forgotten..(=
Time shared with gd frens.. will last in memory forever..
P.S mEow: B fat..lalala~ MUAhHAHA.. my eViL PlAN will SUCcEdd!!>=)
P.S NanA, Ah DUck,NAt " damit.. i miss u guys ta bitsss!! where u guy gone too?! forgot AddEr already?!
P.S Nic, Sam:iTs AddEr! NT MARY! dammit! >=( LAlalA~
p.s"SMILE!!! OK?! PLEASEEEeeeee
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Posted at 07:55 pm by Adder
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Sick.. Adder is sick.. poor adder.. im drowing.. drowing on the mucus frm my runny nose.... and coughin.. omg.. ouccchhh..my thraot hurts...>.< havent been going fer soccer training.. feel like giving it up.. nt like the team cant do without me.. thou its my passion.. too many obstacles fer mi ta overcome.. alone.. nt like any of u would understand..seniors dun like me.... my own yr ones hu join at the some time as i did.. dun really like me.. at least a handful.. i rather give it up.. if i have to do sumthing i really enjoy and get critisize till i hate it.. wtf man.. stop judging mi.. u dun even noe me.. wad right do u have.. y do i always fuccking give ppl i bad 1st impression.. and they dun give mi a 2nd chance ta noe mi betterrr..dis succksss.. school is gayy.. Kent keeps disturbing me.. like all the time.. irritating..!!! like joey number 2!!! wida save me!!! omg.. school is so tight.. as in schedule..lol i cant catch up..LOl..laaging real bad.. last min werk kills..LOL..update sum other time..
Posted at 11:00 pm by Adder
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Too many stuff happen all too soon... all together...>.< *siGh*
"By Myself"
What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams?
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust none and live in loneliness?
Because I can't hold on when I'm streached so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself [myself]
[x2]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself
[Chorus:]
I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in
If I
Turn my back I’m defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they’ll
Take from me ‘till everything is gone
If I let them go I’ll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer
by myself [myself]
[x2]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself
[Chorus]
How do you think I’ve lost so much
I'm so afraid that I'm out of touch
How do you expect... I will know what to do
When all I know Is what you tell me to
[x2]
Don’t you know
I can’t tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can’t seem to convince myself why
I’m stuck on the outside
[Chorus x2]
Posted at 10:47 am by Adder
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
aLrite.. wHEre do i startttt... erm.. had a match on Sun.. at NUS.. whoot.. We won dem 1-0.. 1st half was alrite.. den as 2nd half came.. it rained..-_-" had to play in the rain.. and the mud..was like.. yuccks... >_<..Well. its was fun thou.. AFter tt.. ruth's "friend" gave us a lift ta holland village.. it was raining cats and dogs den.. lol.. when ta burger king with jiali..XD saw 2 gays at burger kings.. sharing a bugerr like u one mouth i one mouth..LOL..MEAN!! ahd training on mon... and get injured -_-" wad a loserrrr.. tuesday Had Oral com.. den surprisingly kelly HEEeee let us off uberrr early..- ^_^ .. and sam was late.. like since when she isnt.. she came like.. 12pm..PIGGggg! after school.. went with kent.. nicole.. sam and her fren ta raiders.. whoo~ fun~ LOL.. afterr tt.. sam and nicole... accompanied mi ta see KANG RUi.. *wiNks* LOL.. sweet rite? -TOuchEd- *TeaRS RoLLing DOwn* LOL DRAMAAAAA! iT HURT LORZ... Nt THE MASSAGE! BUT NICOLE PUSHING ME DOWN..LOL..strong...den..NANA came down ta meet me.. lol... sat and toked at the coffee shop fer awhile.. had alot ta catch up on.. lol.den went home lorz.. den today POA ica.. i thot i understood my works.. but i went blank during thr paper.. >_< typical adder..the harder i tink.. i more confused i get.. sam was late again -_-" we should get her a ALARM CLOCK! i really loud one..LIKE the ones tt chursh plays! those bells..LOL i dun think tt would werk anybetter..lol.after school... and dumb national day thingy.. so lame.. went off early.. den horz.. met nicole and MEOWWW lol at the school front...den take cab sent MEOW home.. den went with nicole ta breeks ta study with sam.. LOL she thot mi econs.. sweet rite? so patient..LOL..but.. i understand liaoz ^_^ ty~ I LOVE ALL OF U! today is the 1st time i missed soccer training.. >_<.. i really didnt feel like going.. so demoralising..my seniors dun really like me..*siGh*.. y do i always give ppl i very bad 1st impression..=/..dun judge mi when u dun even noe me man.. god.. i so wanna give soccer up.. its like my life.. but..i dunno..soccer is all bout team werk..i needa b accepted...alrite.. mayb.. adder really does succk.. im begining to see the loserr growing in me..
BTW WIDA! WHERE U RUN TO! BYTCCH! FORGET US ALREADY?! T_T
nana..duck.. wed i no school.. cor me alrites.. we go out.. XD
SAM.. and NICOLE ..ty fer everything (=
to all my frens and classmates out there.. i hope my lame jokes do make poly life a little less stressful fer u guys.. smile.. nth beats seeing a frens smile.. =)
ADDER IS THE BEST BUT MY FRIENDS R THE BESTEST! XD
Posted at 10:28 pm by Adder
Thursday, July 29, 2004
WheEee~ IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!
SoCcEr RocckS!.. Coach asked me ta train wif the seniors..instead of the juniors..Wheee.. but i dun really like it thou.. they r like so unfriendly.. den they dun like me.. they think im arrogant..>.< had training yesterday.. instead of oday.. coz the boys r having a tourament soon and they need the whole field.. had a 2 sided game yesterday with the seniors.. AHHahhahah!! i score i uber nice free kick i dun think i will ever forget the expressions on the faces of all those on the field!..lol
was selected to play with the seniors..on sunday against NUS >.< kinda nervous and pressurise.. hahha!! and my one of my coaches asked mi if i wanna play in the professional league! WhOOt~ ICA starts next week.. and im totally lost... like VERY.. POA is first..which makes it even worst!!! i have gt no idea wtf is going on at all..>.< lucky.. some kind souls r willing ta help mi.. i hope i dun disappoint..>.< i misss nana... ah duckk>.< but im glad ta have met new frens.. they r angels i tell u.. always nv fail to luff at my crappy jokes..=P i gues.. goodbyes..and tears.. r the price u have ta play fer growing up..WHoo~ we r having a gunbound match.. like on tues after school.. i cant wait!!!!its like gonna b so fun! my class.. really aint tt bad at all.. they r really united..at times// and funny.. nv fail to amuse..
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams..Impossible is nth
Posted at 10:23 pm by Adder
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Tsuki o miru tabi omoi daze.. (=
ahaha.. pass few days.. school is boring.. well.. soccer is pretty muhc fun.. coach selected afew of us.. like 4 of us.. ta train with the seniors already.. *so PrOud OF MysELf* nw i finally realise the impotance of soccer to mi..class is alrite.. i had oral com ICA today..LOL.. i nv prepare.. i think wad i say wad.. whoo~i prolly fail..Lol..but as we have more and more of dis talks.. i feel the growing confidence..i didnt expect.. my class mates to have so much courage to share the sad stuff tt happened..well they where really sad.. all i can say is..
say wad u wanna say..do wad u wanna do..the greatest regreats r things unsaid and words undone.. cherish wad u have now.. and nv hesitate ta tell sumone hw to u.. u could nv get the chance again.. learn like there r endless tmrs.. and live like there is no tmr.. well..class.. is starting ta bind a little better.. well.. there is dis "BYtch." making my life crappy.. dun really wanna blog bout her.. makes my blog shyt.. and spoils my mood.. lalala~ always look on the bright side of life~ exams coming.. must study..-_-" met Nana on Sat and Sun.. did some catching up.. her school seem so fun and stress free.. and her class seems so much fun.. frm the way she describes ta mi..*siGh*.. so JeaLous.. man.. like so long already.. its been so long since i graduated.. and awhile since school started.. im still trying real hard ta move on.. i juz cant accept the fact tt we wun be able to see each other everyday and hang out as often nemore..i miss yckss 403/03 very very much...>.< cant nv b replaced.. wad is even more difficult..is the unwillingness i have.. i wan nana and duck.. and all my close frens ta b happy.. but im selfish.. i cant bear ta let dem go..>.< *siGh* Mayb tt is the price of growing up..Time ta move on AddEr.. or at least try... =/
mSges:
ehz..duck.. nat.. u settle everything den tell me..u ownself settle wif nana..
All my new found frens.. in NYP..thanks fer making mi feel less lost.. and making life so much fun (= FAte brought us together.. so lets rock on fer the next few yrs!
Posted at 06:19 pm by Adder
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Dou shitara ii ka wakaranai.
Time fly.. way too fast.. in blink of an eye.. 3 weeks has already gone by.. I miss my old frens.. and old class mates.. but everyone has to move on.. ill probably.. see the glowing personalities in my new frens.. soon.. school is gay.. i gt no idea wtf is going on.. imma stuff myself with booksssss.. and more books.. im gonna go crazy soon.. *siGh* wannA hear the CLown Storie? Here iT goes..
Once.. there was a clown.. he loved ta cheer ppl up. everytime he performs.. he see smile.. which makes him happy.. his audience.. and frens.. nv tried undersatnding he actually felt.. deep in his heart.. but its doesnt matter to him as long as he is happy..wadever probs and emotions..he kept in his heart.. and platers on a smile.. on day.. his family.. gt into a car accident.. and all of dem died.. his wife.. children.. he nv shed a tear or grieve it ta anyone.. the next day while he was performing.. he suddenly.. broke down into tears.. and the next moment.. he lied on the floor dead... Wad do u think of dis story.. i like it alot... *Sigh*
And to -him- [u noe hu u r..]
I don't want to let you into my heart,
You will just tear it all apart.
I don't want to look at you and smile,
You will just make me cry after a while.
I don't want to say, "I love you,"
You will just laugh and call me a fool.
I don't want to give you any part of me,
Please just leave... and let me be...
P,S.. to all my frens out there.. old or new..I mAy NoT hAvE gIvEn U wAt U eXpEcTeD oF mE.i'M jUsT hUmAn NoT pErFeCt BuT iNsIdE tIs ImPeRfEcTiOn LiEs A pErSoN wHo VaLuE yOu ThE bEsT wAy I kNoW...]
-„ªTsuki o miru tabi omoi daze„ª-
Posted at 10:16 am by Adder
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Behind The Smile.. Is Everything You Will Never Understand..
Behind the smile and all the lame jokes i do..is everything u will never understand... But i just nobody will..or ever has to.. i dun trust...=/ thats the prob..well..everyone has got their own probs..so y bother otherrrss..*siGh* Life SuCksss.. Wad with plastering tt bloody smile.. and telling jokess when i feel like shyt inside.. but its well worth it.. for a fren..
"Never Let A Day Pass..Without Making Someone Happy.." I dun wanna b forgotten if i ever had to leave early.. =/
School is gay..Like.. boring.. and i dun feel stress like the others... i dun feel a need to study..not like i will get a job..with all those black records..my life.. is already ruined..after some stupid mistakes.. well..i deserved it.. there is no turning backkk...the real world..is evil..its my greatest fear.. wear pl lie without blinking.. and u dunno who u can turn to or trust..dun tok bout real world..even noe i dunno who ta turn to or trust..i dun believe in best fren..neither do i believe in confiding in ppl.. probs u create urself..solve it urself..dun get ppl into trouble.. Thou i evny ppl with best frens and soul mates..and envy them fer their ability to
TRUST.. Leave me alone when im down..dun body asking..;) u wun get anywhere near to the answer..*sHruGs*
Well..soccer is ok.. kinda fun.. well..its only one of the 2 things that make me look forward ta going ta school.. the other is friends..of course.. ;) well.. i realise.. no matter how bad a person is...there is always i good spot in his heart.. everybody derserves a second chance..everybody makes mistakes.. y didnt i have a 2nd chance..the day i made a dumb mistake..and my life turned hell.. i live in fear.. >.< *siGh*
ahaha........ i will prolly repeat thou..=/ at the rate im going...hopefully sum guardian angel..decides ta help mi..but i guess nt..im gayssssss...
Well... No matter wad.. Adder will always b here ta lend u a helping hand..all u gt to do is ASK..dun b afraid ta ask.. ;) i wun eat u up.. mayb i will.. if im hungry..kakakakakak..LOL lame.. im jking.. *siGh*..I miss going online.. nt leaving the house.. juz chatting and playing with my online frens.. at least..ppl online..dun judge u..nor do they lie to u..where i can b me.. the real adder..tt many of u havent seen b4.. nt a masked smileey dummie.. i feel like.. its a job..to make ppl smile. and when im online.. its my off day ;) lol..nvm.. u will nv understand...I was nice...juz to b played out and made use off..thanks.. fer showing mi ur true colous..
WELL class mk0406..ppl like desireee..natalie..linda...shafina..kamisahhh..errrr..all of u.. thanks fer making life easier and more fun in nyp..or yah..and ms Pea brain( u noe hu u r do u?) and samantha.. ;) hahahahha wheee~ Whenever u frown..adder would be around..to act like a clown and turn tt frown upside down.. ;) promiseeeee I LOVE U GUYSSSSssss~ but i hate myself.. and i hate life.. T_T
Wei..Ah duck..Nat..Nana.. school so boring and different without u guys.. ppl who noe mi..inside out..and crap with mi..>.< i miss u guys... find a day to catch up..ok?
hey.. yckss class 403/03 esp Wida..Nana..Nat..school starting.. not long ago.. the i miss u guys.. i mean it.. life has been moving real slowly with u..so diff..its like..without u.. school isnt fun..and no on is guiding mi.. u guys r my guilding star..nw im lost..and its all so dark..i feel so despress and sad during lesson..da.. i miss u lame jokes..and nana's sacarsm.. nat slowness.. everything.. everybody is saying..move on.. but its easier said den done..i did rather time stoped where it was 11 months ago..*siGh*you 3 r the closest comfort i have..always dere..thou i dun say a single word..u noe tt im down.. thou i dun tell u y..u still care.. u 3 r the best kinda frens anyone could have..
sTay TuNe Fer The cLOwn StoRy..
-Waiting ta be understood-
Posted at 04:05 pm by Adder
Saturday, July 17, 2004
SchOol is Gay.. EVery thing is GAy.. ExCepT aDdEr! AddEr IS nOt GaY.. SoCcER iSNT GAy EItHErr.. It
nOt GAy OnLY WheN u DUN RaM bALLs InTo PpL's FACe.. ANd HURt PPl'S LeG.. ANd FeeL Real ReAL ReAL bAdd.. >.< Im SOWee..BuT IM StIlLL nT gAyyy.. LOl! LoNg TiME no BLoGgg! HAnD itCHy.. >.< ONe MOrE tHiNG! CUte GuyS! WhEee~ HE is SO cUteeee
Posted at 02:21 pm by Adder
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
the thrill of trying iz not noeing wad will happen
Posted at 12:55 pm by Adder
